#how many times have I quoted this in my lifetime #far too many and still not enough

Guys, btw, this is an actual insult

if he calls your mother a hamster, it indicates that she is a fast-breeding rodent— you can get the insult there

and if he says your father smelt of elderberries, well, wine was primarily made from elderberries in the time of king arthur. he’s calling his dad a drunk

more you know

(Source: redlight--district, via insouciant-vida)

420,700 notes


"gay ppl cant have kids"

  1. trans people exist (aka there are gay couples who can reproduce via intercourse)
  2. sperm donors
  3. surrogacy
  4. adoption
  5. further advances in stem cell research are making it possible to turn bone marrow into a sperm substitute, among other things
  6. dont talk to me dont talk to yourself dont talk ever again

(via roastedswansandapples)

15,957 notes


what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

(Source: grossr5, via come-and-meet-the-girl-who-can)

207,680 notes

(via 0fft0neverland)

56,325 notes


I get so overwhelmed whenever I get an iTunes gift card

Like what music do I deem worthy enough to legally purchase?

(via roastedswansandapples)

345,130 notes

(Source: memewhore, via daytimeandnighttime)

314,215 notes


i sell unbelievable combs.


i sell unbelievable combs.

(via insouciant-vida)

42,454 notes



By “people,” I guess Neville thought Ron meant the Dark Lord.

Go big or go home

(via kuramachakra)

195,867 notes

(Source: willthewriter, via insouciant-vida)

123,582 notes


i have intense and perhaps slightly misguided hope that if i befriend enough canadians that i can just be like canadian by association or maybe an honorary canadian

(via natasi)

115 notes